I've had a lot of shit go down in recent years and as it progressed, and got worse, I worked magic less and less. Now, as I look back, I realize I haven't worked magic in over 3 years. I've spoken to the moon, I've prayed, I've begged mercy of the gods but I haven't lit candles and gathered tools, raised and focused energy or any of it in ages. I wonder if I even remember how to do it; I imagine (hope) it's like riding a bike and it will come back to me. It's going to take some rehabilitation to get me back in the swing of things. I feel the need to brush up on just about everything. I feel the need to read through lots of funky spells on Lucky Mojo. I feel the need to gather all my magical tools, my gemstones and minerals, my candles, my mojo bags and all my stuff and just start creating. I'm so far gone I don't even have a particular goal in mind. I just feel the need to do something and reclaim my status as the witch of the family.
It's funny how sorrow and rage and grief can just totally bog me down so that I no longer feel capable of working magic. It's been as if so much of my attention has been focused on all the bad stuff happening in recent years that I forgot I could take steps to improve it. Or maybe I've been hurting so bad that I felt no amount of magic could make any difference. There's a lot of reasons tied up with the issue I suppose. There's only so many lies, and instances of theft, and general shitty treatment this witch can take before my magical conduit to the stars/gods/spirits gets clogged up with pain.
I'm hoping this will soon change. I feel the need to empower myself even if I just do a small candle spell or something else simple and sweet. I'm not ready for a full out, scripted, choreographed ritual, not that I've ever done many of those anyway. I want, no, I need simplicity more than ever. If I try to overdo it I may just scare myself away from doing magic at all. But first it's off to study, to read, to learn and soak up some magical information and maybe get some inspiration. Here I go!