Go by Jonsi: The Music of Spring

Is this real paint or Photoshop?

Even if you're not already a fan of Jonsi via Sigur Ros I highly recommend giving at least some of these breathtakingly beautiful songs a listen. Whether it be a fast paced, sometimes frenetic song like Go Do, the breakneck craziness of Animal Arithmetic or a mellow emotional song like Grow Till Tall or Tornado each song seems to almost fly by as the ethereal qualities begin to overwhelm the listener. It's so good and so enjoyable that it makes one want to rush outside and breathe in all the wild growth of spring before it melts into summer.

There have always been naysayers who claim that a solo album from a front man of an already successful band will inevitably be watered down, weaker or only a slightly tweaked version of the original bands' music. And that's a valid critique, but not in this case. Yes, he sings in his haunting falsetto a lot, just like he does with Sigur Ros. And yes, the music is very good. But the similarities really end there. Go features much faster rhythms, heavier synthesizers, a lot more orchestral work,  less guitar and one other glaring difference between Go and the music of Sigur Ros.

Jonsi sings more than a little of the lyrics in English. It's English sung with a heavy, but not overpowering, Icelandic accent, granted. But it's beautiful and can be understood once the listener has gotten over the newness of the album and has learned how to listen to his pronunciations. I don't find it unpleasant at all to not always know exactly what he's singing about. In fact, it adds to the over all aesthetic, to the air of mystery and otherworldly quality. That said, the lyrics are beautiful so it's not a bad idea to look them up.

From Go Do:

Tie strings to clouds
Make your own lake - Let it flow
Throw seeds to sprout
Make your own break - Let them grow

And from Animal Arithmetic:

Every time, everyone, everything's full of life
Everyday, everywhere, people are so alive

I see you in the trees
I see you're colourful
I see you in the breeze
You're spiritful

Personally, I've officially recognized Go as the soundtrack of my springtime. In fact, I've become rather obsessed by it! Never before in my life have I been so eager for the warmth and growth of spring and this album encapsulates all the glory, wonder, beauty and sometimes heady pace of springtime. It's as if the spring flowers and awakening animals and I are racing at a feverish pace and this album is the music we are making.

I wanted to imbed the video for Go Do but YouTubers don't seem to want to share it and the Jonsi site features a huge video player that uglies up my template. So, go here to see the first fascinating video from Go.

The Pros and Cons of Rage

A while back Terri over at Aquila ka Hecate blogged about rage and, after writing a comment, I realized I had a lot to say about it and should blog about it myself.

The doctors say I have a mild form of bipolar disorder. Some people, even some I'm related to, have said that I'm a bitch and that's all there it to it. And maybe they're right. Maybe it's in my stars. Maybe it's all genetic or maybe I am just a heinous bitch. Or all of the above. (For those of you who don't know, my bipolar takes the form of depression and anxiety but not the delusional or hallucinatory kind of bipolar.) For the purposes of this blog I want to talk about the anxiety side of things, specifically, my anger that can sometimes boil up and burn everything in its path. We all have rage but mine could become truly frightening sometimes.

I've had temper tantrums, I've thrown things, I've made up foul words after I ran through all the mainstream strong language. That's not really extreme though. When it got really bad, however, my rage would take me much farther than that. I once punched a solid oak door off its hinges that had been installed with an electric drill into a solid oak frame. Punched it, barehanded five or six times and poof! off it came. I remember feeling fire flowing through my veins, in a purely metaphorical sense, and releasing it out through my fist. I don't even remember feeling any pain.

When I was a teenager I once hit my mom so hard across the face that her eyeglasses flew off. I've even been cruel to pets once or twice. These are things for which I am deeply ashamed but cannot change. Those things happened because I allowed my rage, my fire to get the better of me. Instead of expressing it or funneling it into something productive or creative I would stifle it and try to shut it up. And for that reason it would occasionally and unpredictably burst forth in an explosion of uncontrolled anger. Whoever or whatever happened to be closest to me would bear the brunt leaving them scared and hurt and me drained and riddled with guilt. It was, to say the least, not a healthy way of coping.

But not all rage is destructive. As I've moved past "young adult" and into "adult with grey hair and wrinkles to prove it" I've gotten better at coping. I've learned to express my rage in a more controlled way. Maybe "controlled" isn't the right word. I suppose I should say that I've learned, purely through trial and error, hit and miss, to let enough of it out to keep myself relatively sane and yet keep from hurting or scaring those around me. I've even come to appreciate my rage. Allow me to explain.

If you've followed this blog much in the last few years you're probably aware that, last fall, my family dispensed with the junkie situation. Our home and our very lives were almost completely destroyed by said junkies. And I think my anger, my fire, my rage kept me going. It was, for some time, all I had to keep me going. The junkies took away almost everything we had. They alienated all of our friends and family. They sucked up all the money and then some. They took away our peace and quiet and our security. They turned our home and our lives into hell on Earth. I've never been so angry for so long. I've never been so angry, period. And I think that rage kept me going. It kept me getting out of bed every day and doing what I could to keep my family from falling completely apart.

Rage is powerful, there's no doubt about that. It can be powerfully painful and frightening, this is true. It can be powerfully destructive, violent and traumatizing, yes. But it can also be powerfully motivating. You see for years my rage was my only strength; it kept me alive when the rest of me just wanted to give up. It kept me fighting, it kept me hanging on. The junkies took everything we had but they fed my rage and, strangely enough, that's the one thing that helped me survive them.

Thoughts For the Season

I took this image more than a week ago and I think it's got some brilliant red colors to enjoy and mark the important, but often forgotten, point of the whole season of holidays: the return of the sun after the longest night of the year. Unfortunately, my monitor crapped out on me and I've had to temporarily replace it with an ancient Compaq monitor that only has 32 bit color. So, I'm not quite sure if this photo is very red or not. Either way I seem to remember liking this image, so I hope you do too!

I read on The Wild Hunt how some 300 people came to Stonehenge to celebrate the Solstice on the wrong day and I just couldn't believe it. Or, rather, I was incredibly dismayed by it. I know I'm a hardass about celebrating the solstices, equinoxes and cross quarters at the right time (I don't celebrate Samhain on Halloween, for example, but on the actual cross quarter which usually occurs a full week after Halloween) but come on folks! You call yourselves pagans? And you didn't even realize that our holydays are based on astronomical events and thus don't always occur on the same calendar date? You know so little about what it means to be pagan that it never once occurred to you to check the date? I wish I could meet those folks and slap them silly! I guess I wouldn't have to slap them silly since they are already! Okay, stepping off soapbox now.

I stayed up all night on Yule and kept the fireplaces and candles burning all night. I like the idea of making it a tradition; it's a beautiful way to not only recognize the solstice but show respect for the sun. I've read before how keeping candles/lights burning all during the Yule night will help draw the sun back or otherwise help the sun find its way back. I don't think the sun needs our help but I like the idea showing my support. There's also that little fact of it being seriously cold to encourage one to keep fires going!

Here's hoping you and yours stay warm and happy during this season and all the years to come!

Under Construction Part II

Well, after receiving some great feedback from various readers I came to the conclusion that the worry I'd had from the beginning, about the readability of the text over the awesome background, was well founded. Yeah, the template was gorgeous but I should have stuck with my hard and fast rule against transparent templates. It was great looking but it presented too many problems and really did make reading difficult. So, now I've changed templates again with no transparencies this time! I've yet to add my title image or any of my widgets but I'll keep at it.

You may also notice, or you may not, I dunno, that I've got a lot more posts than I did last time you visited and that my label count looks a lot different and is now topped by "photography". Well, that's cuz I merged Sacred Spiral Creations, my photography (and sometime collage and occasionally textile craft) blog with this blog. It just makes sense to include my creative pursuits, such as they are, with Magic in These Hills which has, over the last year especially, become much more personal. So, if you are so inclined, please check out the new labels and see some of my so-called art. And, as always, feel free to offer some feedback about it! I'm hoping that getting those pictures and such out to more readers will inspire me and get me moving back into a creative mode.

Anyway, when I first started this blog I was dead set against including anything relating to my personal life. It was gonna be all business: mythological discussions, pagan issues in the news, witchcraft tools, ideas, ethics, etc. And while I've included all of that, and more, somewhere along the way I began including more and more personal stuff. I guess that was just a function of time as I began to make genuine friends throughout the blogosphere and felt the need to vent about my deteriorating family situation.

So, that's the news, that's the latest scoop. I'm pretty happy with this new layout: it reflects my personality with its firey swirls and spirals. I'd still like to know what you kind folks think of it, but I'm pretty sure I'll be sticking with it. I'd also like to fess up that I've been a terrible reader these last few months. As my urge to write slipped away from me any pleasure I got from reading the blogs of others was also stripped from me. So, for the time being, I'll refrain from adding a huge blog list. It's going to take me some time to (re)acquaint myself with my favorite, and new found, blogs. So, if you used to be in my blog list but aren't just yet, don't fret; I'll get to it! Thanks everyone for all of your kind words and patience over the last year or so. I'm back in the saddle again and it feels good!

Green Air and White Nights

I think it's a line from the first book of The Lord of the Rings in which Tom Bombadil mentions the healing and rejuvenating power of "the green smell" and the wonder and joy to be found in nature. The feeling around here these days is a perfect example of that. We had a blessedly comfortable Fourth of July with the air full of smoke and the scent of green growth. We had the nearly full moon on the left of our viewing area and a gathering storm on our right. The brightness of the moon, the lightning of the thunderhead and fireworks everywhere in between coupled with the surprising not-scorching heat made for a very pleasant and visually stimulating holiday. It's indicative of the recent weather and lush greenness of life in these hills lately. While my health has been less-than-perfect, to say the least, lately every time I step outside I feel myself immediately wrapped in a cocoon of green healing energy. The very air seems green and full of potential and while that doesn't solve any of my problems it gives me hope.

It never ceases to amaze me, this phenomena of trees and flowers and the wide open sky instantly lifting my spirits and inspiring me. I can be deep in an unpleasant, unhappy funk and one brief sighting of a crane flying past a brilliant sunset can put the silliest grin on my face. My spirits can be down in the dumps and just a few minutes of owl or whip-poor-will song has me smiling like an idiot. When I get so frantic and jittery that I can't sit still all it takes is a half-hour walk around our immense back yard with the dogs to calm me down and help me find my center. And if I ever find myself wondering why I don't feel as good as I should I just have to remember that, for some reason or another, I haven't communed with the moon for a while.

I hate the time of the new moon. I hate it when I can't speak with Luna. Don't get me wrong, I totally understand the phases of the moon and why we have to have three moonless nights a month. I'm not hating on the nature of the solar system. And I also recognize, with gusto, the significance and power of the moon in all her phases. I recognize and revere Hecate, and her magic, just as much as any other self-respecting witch. But I miss the moon so much when I can't see her. I hate cloudy nights and I hate new moon time for the same reason: I can't see her and I can't feel her anywhere near as keenly as I do when I can see her. Intellectually, I know that even though I cannot see her with my puny human eyes that she is still there. I know she is there during the day but the sun is too bright and won't allow me to see her. I know she is there when nighttime clouds obscure her. And I know she is there during her new phase. I know this. But it doesn't make it any easier.

I don't think I can explain rationally with facts and figures; it's entirely subjective. When it comes to the natural world I truly am a Missourian: I want you to show me! Or at least, when it comes to bird song, let me hear it for myself. I must smell it, feel it, experience it for myself or its meaningless. Okay, it's not meaningless. But without personal firsthand sensory experience I receive no direct and immediate benefit from it. When I can't see the moon, or be outside and smell the green smell, just knowing it's out there doesn't really mean much. It's like reading a nature magazine. It can be fascinating, it can be very educational and it can spurn me into action. It can broaden my horizons and lead me to new pursuits and new interests, but it doesn't heal my soul or my spirit. It doesn't lift me out of a foul mood and it doesn't inspire me. I guess what I'm saying is that learning about nature teaches my brain and that's all well and good. But being outside and experiencing nature through my own senses teaches my soul. And, for that, I will be eternally in awe.

Thoughts on this Fourth

So the Fourth of July, the American Independence Day, has come again. We have a new president for this one. In fact, for the first time in history, the United States of America will celebrate the fact that we don't speak with English accents with a black man serving as our chief. Oh, how the times have changed. Our country is still in a helluva a lot of trouble. It took eight years of idiocy, greed, shortsightedness and neo-conservative tunnel vision to get us into this mess. So it will naturally take more than half a year to get us out of it. I would like to think, as I'm sure we all would, that things will get better. I imagine they will. Real steps have recently been taken to get us the hell out of Iraq, which can be nothing but good in my opinion. The economy is still in the toilet but I know it won't stay there. Recessions have come and gone many times before and this one will eventually run its course. And while politics are always politics as usual, i.e. more bullshit than substance, I do have some hope for our future. Say what you will about Obama but at least he seems to have a genuinely intellectual brain as opposed to one nearly reduced to mush by cocaine, booze and a lifetime of indoctrination by Christian Conservatives.

I once said the Fourth of July is The Great American Fire Festival and I still hold to that. It is our celebration of freedom won by fire, by bullets and cannons. It is a celebration of fiery bravery, audacity and pure grit. It is a celebration of a momentous win achieved during the hottest, fieriest time of the year in this country. The Fourth may fall two weeks after the Summer Solstice but the heat, fire and strength of the sun is still plenty strong enough to heat up the air, the mind and the soul. Now, as then, its strength and power can help us overcome apparently insurmountable odds. It's only fitting that we mark the day with barbecues filled with sizzling and sumptuous foods. It makes perfect sense that as our forefathers fired guns and set off cannons we today create our own deafening explosions accompanied by brilliant flashes of sparkling, shining colors.

But let's not forget those who have no such cause for celebration. While we're grilling food over the fire or blowing up expensive pyrotechnics and generally enjoying good times with friends and family let's take time to remember those who are still fighting for freedom from tyranny, oppression and cruelty. Let's say a prayer for those wounded and dying, but still brave, student protesters in Iran. Let's ask our respective gods, spirits, guides, etc., to lend some of their support to those fighting for freedom all over the world. Let's give something of ourselves to help those folks who are fighting for independence right now. If we can't send money to support a cause, let's spread the message of their struggles. If we feel we can't reach anyone with our words let's work magic to help them continue the fight. If we can't help them in time let's pray that their passing was quick and painless. If their oppressors killed them slowly and brutally let's pray that their souls can move on from their most recent horrible deaths and perhaps enjoy better times in a future life. While we celebrate our freedom let's not forget those who don't have it.

I wish you a safe, happy, informed and aware holiday.

Image from the Flickrstream of Camera Slayer, licensed by Creative Commons.

The Great Mother Goddesses

Or, How Our Own Death Wish is Causing Many of Us to Return to the Old Ways.

Let me preface the following by saying I know nothing of genetics and very little of hardcore science in general. I'm probably going to use various, or many, terms incorrectly and miss the intended point of an important theory. So, if any of you science-y people out there spot errors I encourage you to correct me. Okay, on with the wild ramblings.

Have you heard of the Toba Catastrophe Theory? It states that roughly 70,000- 75,000 years ago a volcano on what is now Sumatra, in Indonesia, blew the Hel up and set in motion a series of environmental effects that caused a pretty drastic bottleneck in the human population. What's a bottleneck in population? That's when something pretty big, nasty and scary, like a plague, earthquake, ice age, volcanic eruption, etc., brings about the deaths of so many beings of a certain species that the descendants of the survivors are incredibly close genetically because so few were left to perpetuate the species. In the case of the Toba eruption it's estimated that perhaps as few as 1,000 breeding pairs of humans survived. There are also estimates that go as high as 10,000 pairs but either way, it was a pretty big damn drop in population. And it got me thinking.

It got me thinking about how many people look to religion and spirituality in hard times. Before I started learning about population bottlenecks, and the Toba disaster is just one of many, I had always wondered about the Great Mother Goddesses. Why were they so important to our ancestors? Why were they most likely the first to be crafted into statuettes? Why were they among the first divinities to be worshiped? Why were they, in many lands, cultures and times, the most loved? Why did they, above so many others, spread out from their homelands and find adherents over many continents? What's so special about them? And the most obvious, and somewhat unsatisfying, answer was that they were in charge of the continuance of human life. They were in charge of sexuality that led to conception, pregnancy, birth and growth leading eventually back to sexuality. They were the ultimate creators, the supreme progenitors, they were the mothers of us all.

Seems pretty simple, right? Why then, I ask you, did the worship of said Great Mother Goddesses die out and eventually become despised? What made them so important and then, at best, meaningless and, at worst, evil? I know, I know. It's the fault of the Judeo-Christians and their comparatively new religions. But things must have changed to allow for such a male-centric mythos to take hold. What could it have been? Answer: The population had long since stabilized and the need for Great Mother Goddesses had waned. Which means something major must have happened long, long before that to make the production of children an extremely high priority for nearly everyone alive. But what could that have been? Answer: An extraordinary drop in the population and the resultant desperation.

Now skip ahead a couple thousand years. People began returning to the old ways and the old gods about the time of the Industrial Revolution. Just about the time factories began spewing poison into the air, the water, earth and the bodies of every living creature on the planet a few folks here and there started looking back to the ancient religions. The Great Mother Goddesses become more and more important just as pollutants, pesticides and other chemicals started invading every aspect of life. It's not the same as a massive volcanic eruption, a meteor plowing into the Earth or the plague but we may be creating our next population bottleneck. As the human-made problems of global climate change, industry-induced cancer and infertility, and our own medicines poisoning our drinking water begin to weigh on us more people are turning back to the ancient ways. As our human situation grows ever more precarious the number of Great Mother Goddess, and other pagan, adherents has risen. Coincidence? I think not.

I don't think it's about simple fear either. If it were then many people would just turn to whatever religion is handy, whichever religion is acceptable i.e. the dominant religions, that of the Judeo-Christians. No. More and more people are turning to a form of religion and spirituality that is very much not acceptable to the majority of our fellow citizens. Why? Why would this current threat to our race cause such a thing? It's because the situation is radically different this time. It's something that hasn't happened ever before in the history of our race and our planet. Instead of a volcanic eruption or a plague or other disaster that we have no control over we are putting ourselves at risk. We are killing ourselves.

Our own technological advancement, our "progress" is putting our very existence as a race at risk. And because said progress involves a would-be domination of the Earth, untold and unnecessary cruelty, unparalleled waste and monumental greed many of us are not just turning away from the mainstream way of living, eating, consuming and working. We are returning to the ancient ways because we feel and know, at least subconsciously, that the ways of the Great Mother Goddesses, and their cohorts, are the only things that can save us. If we don't return to living in balance with the land and learn to embrace life, and all its joys and indignities, as sacred then we are doomed to destroy ourselves. If we don't return to the Great Mother Goddesses we are doomed to create the next human population bottleneck.

Stars and Lights

Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
Up above the world so high
like a diamond in the sky

I had a weird moment tonight. It was one of those moments when I wasn't quite sure what I was seeing. I was out in the backyard with the dogs, enjoying the crystal clear night sky. The moon wasn't quite visible yet so there were only stars as far as the eye could see. I live out in the country, or the suburbs of a very small town if I wanna get cheeky about it, so light pollution isn't much of an issue. Anyway, the weird moment came when I made it to the back of the yard and gazed at the brightest of the stars. And, I swear to the gods, it was blinking. And not just blinking bright, then dull, then bright again. It flashed white, white, blue, red. White, white, blue, red. Over and over in exactly the same order and rhythm.

I have never seen this before and I don't know why.

It was so startlingly different that the phrase "UFO" actually crossed my mind before passing away just as quickly as it arose. Then I wondered if all the fireplace smoke in the air could be playing tricks on my eyes. Then I came in and checked out a couple of my most favorite spacey websites thinking there must be some grand scientific explanation. And I couldn't find anything of the sort regarding the current space weather. So, I went back outside to see if I was hallucinating. And there it was again. The brightest, lowest star blinking at me; it may be Venus for all I know. But it appears like just any bright star, except it's blinking and flashing. White, white, blue, red. White, white, blue, red. So, I said to myself, "Self, you must be hallucinating". Then I got the idea to check out the other stars. And all of the bigger, brighter stars were blinking at me! The smaller, fainter stars just glimmered with their usual sparkle. But each and every one of the larger stars blinked in vividly different colors.

The only plausible idea I can come up with is that I have been in front of the computer, on and off, for about 4 hours now and my eyes are playing tricks on themselves. But that doesn't really fit the situation either. I've been a hardcore internet junkie since 1995 and never have I seen the stars like this. And I've been a dedicated moon and stargazer for most of my life. Why did I never see this before? Was I not looking close enough? Was I not looking long enough? Did the gods just now decide to reveal this to me? Or did someone spike my 2% milk when I was looking the other way?

Even as I write this a thought occurs: maybe I'm just getting old. Perhaps now that my eyes are a little weaker I am only seeing these flashes of colors as my eyes can't handle the overall brightness of the stars. Is that possible? I wish I knew. No, that's not entirely correct. I'd like to know the answer. But, mostly, I hope, and wish for it to continue.

Starlight, starbright
First star I see tonight
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have this wish I wish tonight

Lodestone and Lightning

Lodestones, or loadstones, are magnetites that have been intensely magnetized by the magnetic fields surrounding lightning strikes. They consist of two different minerals: wustite and the familiar hematite. They are the most naturally magnetic mineral on the planet and act as permanent magnets to attract and magnetize iron. (But if you want a piece of lodestone don't assume you can find it at your area's gemstone and mineral show; I learned that lesson. All they could offer me was hematite which is nice but not the same.) Lodestone has had a long, fascinating history of use among ancient pagans as well as modern scientists. Lodestones were an immense help to the ancients as they were used in compasses. They can also be utilized in the study of plate tectonics. Interestingly enough, they were employed in various ancient temple magic tricks.

You see, back in the old days, there were a lot of gods, via priests, vying for the attentions and donations of the public. And one of the methods of attracting worshipers was to have engineers design magnificent creations to be used in the temples. I learned about these amazing feats of gimmickry from The History Channel Ancient Discoveries: Machines of the Gods. From the site:

Alexandria became the centre of this temple trickery. Writers from all over the ancient world flocked to document the strange devices. There are tantalising glimpses from the ancient texts which reveal some of the types of temple machines which were in operation. One of the most famous illusions was to be found at the Temple of Serapis, where an iron chariot hung suspended in mid air. The spectacle appeared to be the work of the gods. In fact, it is believed that a giant lodestone was suspended from the ceiling which would have made the iron chariot appear to be floating by an act of god. The trickery worked, attracting many new visitors to the temple.

The tone of the show is slightly condescending in terms of the gullibility of the worshipers but I'm too fascinated by the ancient inventions to care all that much. There were doors that opened automatically when an individual approached. There were statues of goddesses that seemed to pour out life-giving milk. There were rotating dancers and dragons that moaned as water pressure forced an arrow to shoot them. And the list goes on. If you have the opportunity I highly recommend you check out the show; it's worth it!

Anyway, back to lodestones. Even though I find the ancient uses of lodestone interesting my main concern is their use within hoodoo. Lodestones must be "fed" periodically with magnetic sand to keep them from "starving", magically speaking. They can be used for a variety of different spells depending on their size and their "gender" (more on that in a bit). Single large lodestones are used draw luck or money. Small, gravel-sized stones are carried singly or in pairs in mojo bags to attract love and luck. The very smallest lodestones are submerged in oils to be used for later spellwork.

Paired lodestones, either female/male, male/male or female/female are used in love and fidelity spells. A "male" lodestone is pyramidal or pointed and a "female" lodestone is cubicle or rounded. Generally speaking, paired lodestones should be about the same size and should "fit" together. According to Lucky Mojo:

The matching process consists of sprinkling the lodestones very lightly with magnetic sand to visually reveal their magnetic polarities, and then, by trial and error, finding pairs in which two edges join together well along their planar, convex, or concave surfaces AND also have the proper positive-negative charges that allow them to "draw" or attract along these selected surfaces.

I've always had a thing for hematite as well as any kind of earthbound object produced or affected by lightning, like fulgurite. And, this just occurred to me, I guess this means I have ties to Zeus/Jupiter, specifically Jupiter Fulgurator, as he is the god of lightning. Perhaps I should look at him more closely. I've read that, according to some American Indians and others, it's bad luck to burn lightning struck wood in a fire or stove. But I wonder about using lightning struck wood to, for example, make a ritual tool? It's been touched by a bit of the heavens and, while it obviously wouldn't be magnetized, I figure it would still have some powerful qualities attached to it.

What do you think of lightning in terms of its magical effects?

Of Divination and Smoke

For a long time I had something of a love/hate relationship with divination. Or, rather, a passing fancy/general dislike for said art. Try as I might I just cannot develop an interest in either Tarot or Runes. I was given a nice set of each as gifts years and years ago and tried for quite a while to "get a feel" for them. I read, I studied, I meditated, I drew cards and drew runes and drew and drew to no avail. I made interpretations based on the words and works of others. And I went with my gut and my pineal gland and made my own interpretations. I tried and worked and tried, for years. Eventually, I got tired of trying to force something that just wasn't happening and put the cards and runes aside and went on to seek another method. Perhaps my disinclination for cards and runes makes me an atypical, or uncool, witch but I don't really care.

My next method was by pendulum. I have a pendulum that I've dedicated some time and effort towards mastering. And, given its lack of specific images and its wonderful earthiness, it should work better for me. It's a very beautiful hematite pendulum with a nice, comfortable weight to it. But, like the cards and runes, I've had a very hard time developing a relationship with it so I put it away with the Tarot cards and the Runes. I eventually concluded that perhaps this witch just isn't made for divination at all. But I was wrong.

It was, purely by accident, that I discovered my preferred mode of divination: smoke scrying. I was under the influence of my favorite herb and got lost in the smoke of an incense stick. And I started to see things, visions some people would call them. Ideas, thoughts and symbols abounded! I learned more from, say, 6 months of smoke scrying than 2 years of working with cards or runes. Alas, I no longer have the opportunity to enjoy the blessings of my favorite herb (money: it's a bitch) so I haven't been able to to see things in smoke as I once did.

I've tried scrying with the smoke of other things but they just don't work. And, call it "sour grapes" if you will but, without my favorite sacred herb I can't seem to reach that "just right" head space anyway. The smoke from the fireplace just isn't the same. It's a different kind of smoke. Not to mention the fact that our open fireplace is in the living room with the damn television which can really play havoc with attempts to get in touch with one's higher self. And the little bit of smoke that a candle produces doesn't do it for me either. I need a thick stream of fragrant smoke that lasts, uninterrupted, for at least 20 minutes. And I need my Green Goddess.

So, I'm back to where I was before: stuck. I feel the call but haven't a method. I miss my smoke, in more ways than one. I'm a Cancer by birth and a very watery person whose emotions often run away from me. What's more, I'm a bipolar Cancer so my roller coaster emotions can make my life truly hellish. Up until I started smoking and then smoke scrying water, and emotions, dominated me (and, no, water scrying isn't for me either) and I felt the absence of the other elements quite keenly. Smoking and smoke scrying really helped me balance things out; I was on a much more even keel. There's a lot less fire, earth and air in my life than there was up until this time last year. This writing is one way of trying to accept that sad, depressing and infuriating fact. For over five years I had a lot of wonderful smoky air, via the herb and incense, in my life--and now it's gone. I guess I'm whining. I'm trying not to be bitter but can't really help it as my current financial hell was not of my doing.

When I think back on those beautiful and enlightening times I can't help but smile a bittersweet smile. It's sad, but a smile all the same. I guess I'm grateful for those times. So, I'll send a "thank you" out into the universe for the years when I did have the blessings of other elements in my life. I don't get to enjoy the benefits of the sacred herb anymore and there are no more visions. But that wasn't always the case. And for that I am thankful.

Winter Solstice Wishes

Winter Solstice Sunrise at Newgrange, Ireland.

We all come from the Sun God
And to Him we shall return
Like a flame of love
Rising to the Heavens

Happy Solstice!

The Winter Solstice: Neolithics to Christians

The word solstice comes from the Latin: "sol" for sun and "stictere", to stand still. Did you know that in January the Earth is about 3 million miles closer to the sun than in June? It doesn't affect our climate in any way though. After all, 3 million miles is nothing in astronomical terms. Rather, it is our planet's curious 23 degree tilt that gives us our seasons. On the winter solstice our hemisphere is tilted farthest away from the sun than at any other point during the year, giving us the shortest day of the year, the winter solstice. And there's more than that happening, astronomically speaking. From Wikipedia:

On the night of winter solstice, as seen from a northern sky, the three stars in Orion's Belt align with the brightest star in the eastern sky Sirius to show where the Sun will rise in the morning after winter solstice. Until this time, the Sun has exhibited since summer solstice a decreasing arc across the Southern sky. On winter solstice, the Sun ceases to decline in the sky and the length of daylight reaches its minimum for three days, during which the sun does not move on the horizon. After such a time, the Sun begins its ascent into the northern sky and days grow longer.

This special time of the year has been celebrated the world over from time out of mind. We're not really sure which ancient culture first began to study and honor the solstices and equinoxes, as there are monuments relating to these dates in nearly every ancient culture, but it's likely to have been of marked importance since Neolithic times. For the record, "neolithic" means new stone and refers to a particular stage of human technological development starting around 10,000 BCE. This period saw what is historically referred to as the "Neolithic revolution" in which farming and metal toolmaking reached previously unknown heights of sophistication. These advances allowed for intense population growth and the development of settled communities which leads us, via the ancient Sumerians in what is now termed the Middle East, to the first examples of recorded history. So, it would stand to reason that the Sumerians were among the first to recognize the solstices and equinoxes.


The first peoples to make monuments related to the winter solstice, however, came from Europe. Or, perhaps more accurately, the oldest surviving monuments known to modern archaeology that relate to the winter solstice come from late Neolithic and Bronze Age sites like Newgrange in Ireland and hundreds of henges and other monuments in Britain. Newgrange is one of my personal favorite ancient places, far closer to my heart than Stonehenge and several centuries older than said henge. It is older than even the great pyramids of Egypt at about 5,000 years of age. The huge monument was built to receive a ray of light into a deep chamber on the morning of the winter solstice that fell on beautiful spirals, solar discs and other symbols. At no other time of the year was this space illuminated which gives us a good indication of the significance of the winter solstice to those who built this ancient site. After all, the Neolithics were the first to perfect farming; the timing of the seasons was crucial to their very survival.

But, as stated above, the ancient Europeans weren't the only Neolithics to honor the solstices and equinoxes in stone. Sacred sites relating to the winter solstice alone have been found all over, including the Americas, Asia, Indonesia and the Middle East. Most notable, in my opinion, are the Chaco Canyon sites in New Mexico built by ancestors of the Pueblos and the Hopi and the Great Zimbabwe, AKA "African Stonehenge", site. These ancient sacred sites, and many others the world over, have fairly precise alignments involving the winter solstice. It gives me shivers to think of the ancient sites not yet discovered!

As the winter solstice sees the return of the sun after the longest night of the year it naturally lead to the incorporation of the worship of sun gods and no holyday holds more sway over us today than that of the ancient Greco-Roman period. The ancient Greeks celebrated the Chronia, in honor of Chronus, around the time of the winter solstice. Eventually, as is typical of the ancient Romans, the holyday was Romanized and became Saturnalia, and Chronus became Saturn, a deity of--you guessed it--agriculture and the harvest. The festivities were marked by the usual sacrifices, the exchanging of gifts, legal gambling-even by slaves, and a symbolic reversal of the roles of slaves and their owners (meaning the slaves were still doing all the work but things were a little more laid back than usual) and general partying all around. Originally the holyday was only celebrated for a single day, 17 December, but gradually grew in length due to its immense popularity. It was such an important and popular festival that, despite the efforts of more than one Caesar to shorten it, the celebrations eventually spread to encompass an entire week.

Saturnalia is tied up with such an important decision that a little Christian history is warranted to explain it. To understand this you must know that Saturnalia was eventually superseded by the festival of Sol Invictus, the Roman sun god imported from Syria, which borrowed many of the characteristics of the previously celebrated holyday. During the reign of Julius Caesar a great number of calendar reforms were instituted, one of which firmly placed the winter solstice, the celebration of the return of Sol, on 25 December. Later in the 4th century CE the Emperor Constantine, who considered Sol to be the same deity as Jesus, perhaps quite naturally decided upon 25 December as the birth of the savior of his new religion. So what was once Saturnalia became the festival of Sol Invictus and then became the celebration of the birth of the new sun god, the Christ child. So it would seem that some of the old Saturnalia traditions would quite naturally have survived in the more recent celebrations of Christmas, namely the gift giving and the general emphasis on food and drink.

And so, to honor his return and ask his favor I say a short prayer to Sol.

In these dark days of winter, and dark economic times of social unrest, may the light of the returning sun bless us all. Whether we honor Chronus, Saturn, Sol, Jesus or no god at all but simply welcome the return of warmth may we all be filled with the joyous potential of the season. As the calendar year turns and a new president takes the helm of my country may we all benefit from the better times to come.

Edited on 21 December: It has occurred to me that, given all the dates and facts being thrown around in the above, it might be good if I listed some sources. Duh! You'd think I'd never written an essay before. So, here are some of the sites I consulted for this post:

Free Republic
Wikipedia entry for Sol Invictus
Wikipedia entry for Constantine the Great
Wikipedia entry for Saturnalia
Wikipedia entry for Winter Solstice
Solstice at Candle Grove.com
December at Religio Romana
I also consulted "The Golden Bough" and a couple of other books that I'm too lazy to run upstairs to fetch. I've also read a lot about this subject over the years so I just consulted my memory and my pineal gland.

A Brief History of Woodburning

Above is a cup from the Nazca culture of Peru, dating from the period 0-700 AD. The hummingbirds and floral designs were made using the ancient art of pyrography, also known as woodburning. It's generally agreed that pyrography dates back to man's discovery of the uses of fire. Cook meat, provide heat and light and then, make art. Charred pieces of wood could have been used to draw on caves walls and such and, eventually, metal tools were developed. For a while pyrography was called "Poker Art" because a metal poker, heated in the fire, was used to create designs on wood. The first official metal tools consisted of Benzine-fueled tools, like the one below in this early 20th century kit.

The kind of tools we use today were first patented in 1916. In which part of the world the art originated isn't clear but it is clear that it's been practised the world over throughout history. Below can be seen several woodburned items including salt and pepper shakers and an egg cup from Germany, a cigarette box from Russia and a souvenir wooden shoe from Holland.

To learn and see more about pyrography through the ages see the article Antique Pyrography and visit The E-Museum of Pyrographic Art.

Goddess Plaque

Here's a goddess image I'm working on. I won't do too much more to it, probably just add little floral accents to the sides. When I find the sealant/varnish somewhere in the garage I'll finish it and the altar box.

Pale Sun

This photo makes me think of Easter egg dyes. And the sun is so pale it looks like the moon.

Altar Box in Progress

I think this old box may have been used to hold horseshoeing equipment or similar. It's never been treated so the wood is really cracked and funky.

Brilliant Sunset

This was taken just after a thunderstorm right as the sun was going down.

The First Fire and the Worst Fire

It seems autumn is finally kicking in and growing closer to winter. Last week we lit our first fire of the season. It's such a good feeling to sit by the fire and watch the flames lick the wood. I know that woodburning isn't the most environmentally sound thing to do but with two fireplaces and no central heat it's either this or freeze. During the ice storm in January the fireplaces quite literally kept us alive. And we don't cut down living trees unless we absolutely must. There's still so much tree damage from the ice storm that it will be some time before we have to consider cutting down a living tree. We'll probably spend all winter collecting fallen trees from our friends and family. I love sitting in front of the fire. To ancient man the fire was the television. Actually, it's bright lights and constant movement stimulated the eyes and minds in a way that tv can't. It's throught provoking and magical in a way no tv screen can be. And yet, as we all know, fire can quickly become out of control.

Above is a view from space of the California wildfires. Over a million people evacuated, a MILLION. It's amazing and unbelievable to me. According to Reuters:

As many as 24 separate wildfires ravaged more than 500,000 acres of California last week, destroying 2,300 buildings and causing at least 12 deaths and 78 injuries.

The latest seems to be that the fires are old news and while I find that hopeful I still can't help but think about those who lost their homes and businesses and those who were hurt or killed. I can't imagine fires ravaging and endangering an entire state and forcing tons of people out of their homes. It's staggering. I've never experienced anything like it and can't begin to understand what those affected must have felt and are still feeling.

Pele

Pele is the Hawaiian goddess of volcanoes, fire, lightning, dance and violence. Originally from Tahiti she was exiled from her homeland because of her bad temper and volatile personality. When she died she became a goddess and eventually found a home at Kilauea on Hawaii. She is known for frequent visits among humans and appears either as a young, tall, beautiful woman or as an aged crone. She will test people by asking for food and drink; those who deny her experience her wrath in the form of a volcano destroying their homes. She loves attending social events like dances and has an eye for the men. She can be very jealous and will fight for her favored fellow. She is a fiery, passionate, spirited goddess of enormous power and depth. Her volcanoes destroy even as they create new land just as she creates strength in mortals by forcing hardship upon them.

Pele, while not unknown to me, is a new addition to my favored goddesses. I hope to learn from her how better to control my inner fire and use it not only to burn away what must go but to create new aspects of myself. I believe there is a lot I can learn from her and look forward to receiving her wisdom for years to come.

The Great American Fire Festival

Thunder and colorful lightning, fire and smoke; that's what Independence Day is to me. It's an energetic, fiery day of celebration. It is the official American summer holiday: a day to celebrate not only the fact that we don't speak with a British accent but also to celebrate the season. It is nearly the height of summer when the daylight hours are growing ever closer to their fullest which will be on solstice later in the month. I find it amazing that our 4th of July celebrations feature fireworks so prominently, this society doesn't even seem to realize the elemental and ritual aspects of the day.

We honor our breaking with England and the warmth of the summertime with fire. We spend untold dollars on fireworks only to watch them go up in a smoky show. But what a show! The various colors and intensity of the lights make me think of lightning; purple lighting that crackles as it falls from the sky or orange lightning that looks like a comet being spit out of the Earth. Pink lightning, green, blue and all the colors of the rainbow, bright as the sun if for only a brief moment. There is power in these things and I'm not just referring to the magic of gunpowder. There are great things to be seen within the patterns of fireworks, be they small fountains or huge fireballs that fill the night sky. The fireworks each have their own unique characteristics that can conjure up images of animals and deities as well as images from one's life that can teach lessons or provide precious reminders. As I sat watching our yearly fireworks show my witch friend 'Lil Red and I both concluded at the same time that fireworks are a form of magic. And now, 3 days later, the images are still vibrant in my mind and will provide powerful visualization tools for some time to come.