Go by Jonsi: The Music of Spring

Is this real paint or Photoshop?

Even if you're not already a fan of Jonsi via Sigur Ros I highly recommend giving at least some of these breathtakingly beautiful songs a listen. Whether it be a fast paced, sometimes frenetic song like Go Do, the breakneck craziness of Animal Arithmetic or a mellow emotional song like Grow Till Tall or Tornado each song seems to almost fly by as the ethereal qualities begin to overwhelm the listener. It's so good and so enjoyable that it makes one want to rush outside and breathe in all the wild growth of spring before it melts into summer.

There have always been naysayers who claim that a solo album from a front man of an already successful band will inevitably be watered down, weaker or only a slightly tweaked version of the original bands' music. And that's a valid critique, but not in this case. Yes, he sings in his haunting falsetto a lot, just like he does with Sigur Ros. And yes, the music is very good. But the similarities really end there. Go features much faster rhythms, heavier synthesizers, a lot more orchestral work,  less guitar and one other glaring difference between Go and the music of Sigur Ros.

Jonsi sings more than a little of the lyrics in English. It's English sung with a heavy, but not overpowering, Icelandic accent, granted. But it's beautiful and can be understood once the listener has gotten over the newness of the album and has learned how to listen to his pronunciations. I don't find it unpleasant at all to not always know exactly what he's singing about. In fact, it adds to the over all aesthetic, to the air of mystery and otherworldly quality. That said, the lyrics are beautiful so it's not a bad idea to look them up.

From Go Do:

Tie strings to clouds
Make your own lake - Let it flow
Throw seeds to sprout
Make your own break - Let them grow

And from Animal Arithmetic:

Every time, everyone, everything's full of life
Everyday, everywhere, people are so alive

I see you in the trees
I see you're colourful
I see you in the breeze
You're spiritful

Personally, I've officially recognized Go as the soundtrack of my springtime. In fact, I've become rather obsessed by it! Never before in my life have I been so eager for the warmth and growth of spring and this album encapsulates all the glory, wonder, beauty and sometimes heady pace of springtime. It's as if the spring flowers and awakening animals and I are racing at a feverish pace and this album is the music we are making.

I wanted to imbed the video for Go Do but YouTubers don't seem to want to share it and the Jonsi site features a huge video player that uglies up my template. So, go here to see the first fascinating video from Go.

Spring: Flowers, Critters and Blog Templates, etc.

Grape Hyacinths

So you may have noticed I've been playing with my template, backgrounds and stuff around here. What can I say? I recently got a nice, fully functioning, big ass monitor (from some great friends!!) and can now enjoy all the colors of the rainbow. Also, Blogger just unrolled their new Template Designer in Blogger in Draft and it is very nice. And fun. And addictive. But, more to the point (and there is one coming, just hold on) it's Spring!

All the warm weather critters are returning with the birds coming first. In fact, birds are returning in droves these days. We've had the mourning doves for about a week and their song is only second to the whip-poor-whil. Our local mockingbird returned a couple of days ago and, when he's close enough to a bedroom window, makes for an efficient and enjoyable alarm clock.   Every time I step outside I see more birds and even saw one squirrel which we don't often have around here. Haven't had a snake yet but it won't be long. The pond frogs have been serenading us for a few weeks now and it's truly glorious.

Lilacs and Tulips

There are spring flowers popping up all over in old and new places. We've got all of our expected things putting on a show but we've got a stray lilac or tulip here and there. Looks like our daffodils are done, the lilacs are still going and the tulips are just beginning to show off their rainbow of colors. All kinds of things are popping up: wild violas amongst the grass, gorgeous bright yellow dandelions and the wild rose bushes are putting out lots of growth. I can't wait to float in the pool and smell the gorgeousness of their scent waft over me. Warm weather can't come soon enough for me this year it seems. And I know why.

Now that my family situation is so much more healthy and happy than it was up until last fall I'm just looking so forward to life and living. My family was locked in a deep, dark hole for a long time, myself included. So I'm loving having freedom to have a life and friendships and goals and hopes to actually look toward.  I've been locked up too long. I, more or less voluntarily, did the hermit thing for nearly 30 years and spent the last two or three too scared to hardly ever leave the house. And now I'm done with that.  I'm stepping out of my cage.

I'm making new friends, pagan and non-pagans, left and right and, for the first time in my life, I'm actually enjoying hanging out with people. It's still a rough ride as my social skillz are pretty rusty but I'm having fun. And it's great. I'm drinking up the sun because the better times have arrived! If you have the means I highly recommend enjoying some beautiful weather and time outdoors and just plain 'ol good times with those you love. Enjoy the springtime, my fellow northern hemisphere residents,  for it comes but once a year!

The Pros and Cons of Rage

A while back Terri over at Aquila ka Hecate blogged about rage and, after writing a comment, I realized I had a lot to say about it and should blog about it myself.

The doctors say I have a mild form of bipolar disorder. Some people, even some I'm related to, have said that I'm a bitch and that's all there it to it. And maybe they're right. Maybe it's in my stars. Maybe it's all genetic or maybe I am just a heinous bitch. Or all of the above. (For those of you who don't know, my bipolar takes the form of depression and anxiety but not the delusional or hallucinatory kind of bipolar.) For the purposes of this blog I want to talk about the anxiety side of things, specifically, my anger that can sometimes boil up and burn everything in its path. We all have rage but mine could become truly frightening sometimes.

I've had temper tantrums, I've thrown things, I've made up foul words after I ran through all the mainstream strong language. That's not really extreme though. When it got really bad, however, my rage would take me much farther than that. I once punched a solid oak door off its hinges that had been installed with an electric drill into a solid oak frame. Punched it, barehanded five or six times and poof! off it came. I remember feeling fire flowing through my veins, in a purely metaphorical sense, and releasing it out through my fist. I don't even remember feeling any pain.

When I was a teenager I once hit my mom so hard across the face that her eyeglasses flew off. I've even been cruel to pets once or twice. These are things for which I am deeply ashamed but cannot change. Those things happened because I allowed my rage, my fire to get the better of me. Instead of expressing it or funneling it into something productive or creative I would stifle it and try to shut it up. And for that reason it would occasionally and unpredictably burst forth in an explosion of uncontrolled anger. Whoever or whatever happened to be closest to me would bear the brunt leaving them scared and hurt and me drained and riddled with guilt. It was, to say the least, not a healthy way of coping.

But not all rage is destructive. As I've moved past "young adult" and into "adult with grey hair and wrinkles to prove it" I've gotten better at coping. I've learned to express my rage in a more controlled way. Maybe "controlled" isn't the right word. I suppose I should say that I've learned, purely through trial and error, hit and miss, to let enough of it out to keep myself relatively sane and yet keep from hurting or scaring those around me. I've even come to appreciate my rage. Allow me to explain.

If you've followed this blog much in the last few years you're probably aware that, last fall, my family dispensed with the junkie situation. Our home and our very lives were almost completely destroyed by said junkies. And I think my anger, my fire, my rage kept me going. It was, for some time, all I had to keep me going. The junkies took away almost everything we had. They alienated all of our friends and family. They sucked up all the money and then some. They took away our peace and quiet and our security. They turned our home and our lives into hell on Earth. I've never been so angry for so long. I've never been so angry, period. And I think that rage kept me going. It kept me getting out of bed every day and doing what I could to keep my family from falling completely apart.

Rage is powerful, there's no doubt about that. It can be powerfully painful and frightening, this is true. It can be powerfully destructive, violent and traumatizing, yes. But it can also be powerfully motivating. You see for years my rage was my only strength; it kept me alive when the rest of me just wanted to give up. It kept me fighting, it kept me hanging on. The junkies took everything we had but they fed my rage and, strangely enough, that's the one thing that helped me survive them.

Weather Weirdness

Have you ever had a moment, or moments, when something outside or otherwise nature-related that normally brought you joy not only gave you the willies but maybe scared the holy shit out of you? I had a moment like that last week during one of several storms systems that passed through our area. I call our little spot of land Windy Hill for obvious reasons. And we take full advantage of our often blustery weather i.e. we have zillions of wind chimes. Okay, maybe not zillions but dozens.

Almost every corner of all four buildings has a set of chimes hanging from it and the big covered back porch has at least a dozen of its own chimes. So, even when it's just a bit breezy we have the blessed, joyful, uplifting song of wind chimes filtering through the air and the trees. At any point on the property one can always hear wind chimes. The rare occasions when the air is completely still usually occur in the dead of winter. There's also a weird thing that happens just before, sometimes during, or after a thunderstorm hits: sometimes the wind abruptly dies. This is most likely to happen at the freaky time when cigar clouds are trying to stir up tornadoes.

This is what happened one evening last week. I was back by the barn, the front end, not the back end that our last tornado ripped up, and I was joyfully taking pictures of all the freaky, gorgeous and frightening clouds moving past. Say what you will about thunderstorms and tornadoes, and I have, but they make for great photography. Anyway, the wind had been picking up and the clouds were spiraling and turning and churning like they do sometimes before a tornado drops down when everything went dead.

Our near-constant breeze suddenly stopped. It was as if the local spirits, or fairies or Those Who Are in Charge of Air got a punch in the gut and lost their breath. For a few minutes the atmosphere stopped breathing. And just before everything went still and got stuffy the wind chime right behind me gave a small and sad little tinkling of sound as if trying to defy the danger of the storm. It was chilling. You ever have a moment like that?

The Great Pacific Garbage Patch

Or, If You Still Aren't Recycling Here's a DAMN GOOD REASON to Start

What is the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, you say? Well, it's a huge floating pile of trash all clobbered together in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. What is it? It's mostly plastics. Plastics like that water bottle you just threw in the trash. Plastics like that wrapper you just threw out the window. Plastics like that gallon jug you left by the creek at the camping area. It's estimated that only about 20% of the trash comes from ships. The other 80% comes from land sources, like through rivers, drainage, etc. And here's the kicker: it's big. How big, you say? It's ROUGHLY TWICE THE SIZE OF FUCKING TEXAS!

How does it stay in one general area? This article from the LA Times perhaps puts it best:

This is known as the Eastern Garbage Patch, part of a system of currents called the North Pacific subtropical gyre. Located halfway between San Francisco and Hawaii, the garbage patch is an area of slack winds and sluggish currents where flotsam collects from around the Pacific, much like foam piling up in the calm center of a hot tub.

Pretty scary, eh? And this is only the biggest patch! They exist in all the oceans all over the world!

If anyone ever needed a reason to start, and stick with, recycling this is a good one. Why aren't you recycling? Too much work, too much hassle? You have a busy life, you have lots of responsibilities, lots to see, do, learn, people to meet, etc., and you just don't have the time for it? It's not worth the effort? I wonder what the innocent animals who live in the water think of your rationalizations. Some animals, like this sea turtle, become trapped and deformed by the floating trash. Some ingest it and die either from starvation, suffocation or from the plastic painfully twisting their innards. Some get trapped in larger piles and simply can't get out, so they starve to death with a clear view of freedom and food. From the same LA Times article:

An estimated 1 million seabirds choke or get tangled in plastic nets or other debris every year. About 100,000 seals, sea lions, whales, dolphins, other marine mammals and sea turtles suffer the same fate.

And if that's not enough to get you off your ass consider this: the trash doesn't just hurt the animals within its immediate area.

Plastics are derived from petroleum. The heat of the sun, as well as ultraviolet rays, causes the plastics to break down into water and carbon dioxide thus adding to the problem of global climate change. While it's still floating the plastic blocks sunlight, interrupting the growth of algae, which also adds to the problem of global climate change. You see, algae eats carbon dioxide, loves the stuff. There are even experiments going on to feed iron to algae thus creating a boom in their growth and a lowering of carbon dioxide. It's not just the animals who are suffering. By refusing to recycle we are, in effect, killing ourselves.

If you aren't already recycling your plastics, numbers 1 and 2, start now! There's no time like the present! There are recycling centers all across this land and many, many larger towns and cities include recycling pickup with their regular trash service, often at no extra cost. What's stopping you? Yeah, it's a new routine but once you've gotten into it you will be amazed at how simple it is, how easy it is. Rinse things out, get rid of the lid and label and toss the item into a set aside recycling bin. Then, either put it on the curb or gather it all together every few months or so. You'll be doing your part to make sure the Garbage Patches of the world don't get any bigger. You'll make yourself feel good and you just might teach your kids something about environmental responsibility. Even if you don't give a shit about the animals of the oceans at least get to recycling for the sake of yourself, your own children and your race.

Damage

There's been a few new facts come to light regarding our recent severe weather here in these hills. For one thing, after spending several hours picking up many, many limbs and branches I realized that the tornado had freed our trees of their excess baggage. The Great Ice Storm of January 2007 caused incredible damage to every tree within several hundred miles of our house. There isn't a tree around here that didn't lose at least a few limbs. And even with our best efforts we just couldn't get all of them down after the weather warmed. That's been over two years ago and we were still working on getting all of those old limbs down. The tornado took care of a lot of those in one morning. So I guess one good thing came from the terror of May 8.

We've had one insurance adjuster do his thing recently, but not for the barn. Rather, this fella looked at the roof of the house, something we hadn't even really thought about considering the major structural damage to the barn. It turns out though that we had at least 75 mile an hour winds and hail that was at least as big as golf balls. So the greater part of the roof will have to be replaced. I imagine our insurance company just loves us as the only part of the roof that doesn't need replacing is the part that was replaced after the ice storm. So, two years, two storms, two huge roof jobs. I also discovered today, after pulling back the drapes, that my sliding glass doors are just about to fall to bits. They've always been ugly, with the outsides covered in white water stains, but the hail of this last storm really did a number on them. Looking back, I do remember hearing things hit them when I was waking up that day but the wind was so scary that I guess I forgot about the hail. It all adds up to a bunch of work for the insurance folks and hopefully a big enough check to repair all of the damage.

On a more introspective note, I do understand that violent weather serves many purposes. The most obvious reason, alluded to above, is just the simple idea of washing away the old thus allowing the new to come forth. Our trees don't look quite as shaggy now that most of the dead stuff has been blown off. Severe weather also goes a long way to proving to us mere, and yet endlessly arrogant humans, that we are but small parts of creation. Yes, we are sentient, we are conscious, we are mighty. We can create great things and we have a great capacity for destruction as well. But nothing beats Mama Nature, nothing! We can invest millions of dollars in research and development, we can put our best and brightest to work on new ideas and new concepts and we can build with the strongest, most advanced materials. But if she wants to do some damage one swift swipe of her arm or even a sidelong glance can unmake our greatest achievements and unbuild our greatest structures. There's no contest. We are mighty enough to make this planet dangerous to ourselves and other living beings but we can't even approach the power of She Who is In Charge.

Parrallels

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Here's another evening image. I think these are called cirrus clouds, but I can't remember clearly. Given that I love photographing clouds above all other things I guess I should take some time to understand their different forms and functions.

Of Divination and Smoke

For a long time I had something of a love/hate relationship with divination. Or, rather, a passing fancy/general dislike for said art. Try as I might I just cannot develop an interest in either Tarot or Runes. I was given a nice set of each as gifts years and years ago and tried for quite a while to "get a feel" for them. I read, I studied, I meditated, I drew cards and drew runes and drew and drew to no avail. I made interpretations based on the words and works of others. And I went with my gut and my pineal gland and made my own interpretations. I tried and worked and tried, for years. Eventually, I got tired of trying to force something that just wasn't happening and put the cards and runes aside and went on to seek another method. Perhaps my disinclination for cards and runes makes me an atypical, or uncool, witch but I don't really care.

My next method was by pendulum. I have a pendulum that I've dedicated some time and effort towards mastering. And, given its lack of specific images and its wonderful earthiness, it should work better for me. It's a very beautiful hematite pendulum with a nice, comfortable weight to it. But, like the cards and runes, I've had a very hard time developing a relationship with it so I put it away with the Tarot cards and the Runes. I eventually concluded that perhaps this witch just isn't made for divination at all. But I was wrong.

It was, purely by accident, that I discovered my preferred mode of divination: smoke scrying. I was under the influence of my favorite herb and got lost in the smoke of an incense stick. And I started to see things, visions some people would call them. Ideas, thoughts and symbols abounded! I learned more from, say, 6 months of smoke scrying than 2 years of working with cards or runes. Alas, I no longer have the opportunity to enjoy the blessings of my favorite herb (money: it's a bitch) so I haven't been able to to see things in smoke as I once did.

I've tried scrying with the smoke of other things but they just don't work. And, call it "sour grapes" if you will but, without my favorite sacred herb I can't seem to reach that "just right" head space anyway. The smoke from the fireplace just isn't the same. It's a different kind of smoke. Not to mention the fact that our open fireplace is in the living room with the damn television which can really play havoc with attempts to get in touch with one's higher self. And the little bit of smoke that a candle produces doesn't do it for me either. I need a thick stream of fragrant smoke that lasts, uninterrupted, for at least 20 minutes. And I need my Green Goddess.

So, I'm back to where I was before: stuck. I feel the call but haven't a method. I miss my smoke, in more ways than one. I'm a Cancer by birth and a very watery person whose emotions often run away from me. What's more, I'm a bipolar Cancer so my roller coaster emotions can make my life truly hellish. Up until I started smoking and then smoke scrying water, and emotions, dominated me (and, no, water scrying isn't for me either) and I felt the absence of the other elements quite keenly. Smoking and smoke scrying really helped me balance things out; I was on a much more even keel. There's a lot less fire, earth and air in my life than there was up until this time last year. This writing is one way of trying to accept that sad, depressing and infuriating fact. For over five years I had a lot of wonderful smoky air, via the herb and incense, in my life--and now it's gone. I guess I'm whining. I'm trying not to be bitter but can't really help it as my current financial hell was not of my doing.

When I think back on those beautiful and enlightening times I can't help but smile a bittersweet smile. It's sad, but a smile all the same. I guess I'm grateful for those times. So, I'll send a "thank you" out into the universe for the years when I did have the blessings of other elements in my life. I don't get to enjoy the benefits of the sacred herb anymore and there are no more visions. But that wasn't always the case. And for that I am thankful.

Airing My Grievances

The always amazing Hecate has turned me on to a little thing called the Airing of the Grievances which is a part of Festivus. Apparently this holiday was spawned by the insipid show "Seinfeld" but I don't care. I think we need a chance to get things off our chest. George Carlin once did something similar with a list of things he said he was "bored with, tired of and pissed at. So get ready for a little free floating hostility". So, I'm going to do the same now that the holidays are mostly over.

1. Fucking pipes. No, not pipes that fuck, but rather water pipes that burst after thawing from a freeze. In a time when people can live in space, we can crack the human genome and share orgasms with people on the other side of the world why can't we have water pipes that won't freeze and blow the fuck up once they thaw?

2. Unoriginal content on blogs. Come on, folks, we all include some historical information or poetry on our blogs but can't you say anything original? Yeah, it's nice to include the history of this tradition or that god, I do that too, we all do. But don't you have a sincere opinion about said material to go along with it? I have no respect for folks who do nothing more than copy and paste an encyclopedia entry and call it original. Pisses me off.

3.Lazy people who get angry and turn self-righteous and sanctimonious when asked to do something. So you don't want to expend energy on something difficult? So what? No one wants to work their ass off for nothing but we do it anyway. And, somehow, we manage not to grumble like pouting children who don't want to pick up their toys. Life IS work, anyone who tells you different is selling something. Get over yourself you lazy, do-nothing sack of shit. Don't be a waste of space; prove you're worthy of life.

4. Finally, my last bitch is for Israel. Ya know, I don't care that we're supposed to be allies. I don't care if the formation of the country of Israel was a sign that I will soon be left behind. I don't give a shit. 225+ people, mostly policemen but also civilians, are dead. Over 700 have been injured. And for that you suck.

There, just a few things that are currently boiling my brain. And, now that I've bitched a bit about them, I feel a little better. In fact, I think I may make this a recurring event on this here blog. What's pissing you off today?

Fruit Trees

Click for larger version. I don't think I've posted this before. This is the remains of some fruit trees after the ice storm of January 2007.

Crowned Cloud

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Three

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Rays from the Heavens

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Dark Clouds with Rays

This is an odd image but I like the sharp angles and the contrast between the light and the dark.
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Before the Storm

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Frozen Back Yard

If you look close you can see the three big chimes that hang from the tree.

Frozen Old Oak

More Ice Damage

Yep, that's a power line underneath that tree limb.

Frozen Lavender

Brilliant 2002 Sunset

This photo is from so long ago that I'm not exactly sure if I took it. But it's so beautiful I couldn't resist sharing it. So, hat tip to my sister who may have snapped this image.