09 June 2011

All Things Considered

It's been a rough year. Death has been very active and especially cruel to my family lately. My brother died in January after being sick from the drugs for a long time. It's just about destroyed my family as I'm sure anyone who has lost a loved one can imagine. In one way it was a relief because he'd been in bad shape for a while and I'd felt it coming but mostly it's just brought tremendous, crushing pain. I'll never get over losing my best friend, even though he hadn't been any kind of a friend for years. Then shortly after he died one of my cats died suddenly and without warning and that was another blow. Then, a little over a month ago, my most precious beloved dog, Donkey, got bad sick and I had to put him down. It was like losing my brother all over again in some ways. I loved my Donkey more than many people in my own family. He was the furry love of my life and I'll never get over losing him. I'd never loved an animal before the way I loved him and I won't let myself feel that way again because the pain of losing him is sometimes more than I can bear.  I wish I had more words, or at least something cheerful, to say but I don't. I just know I feel like blogging again so here I am. I think it can perhaps be good therapy. So, we'll see where it goes.

7 comments:

Aquila ka Hecate said...

Livia,

I know.

Hugs and more hugs to you.

But don't prevent yourself from loving a non-human animal again as much as Donkey...the pain is a precious part of the learning, and the growing.

Love,
Terri in Joburg

Jopan said...

oh man thats terrible, I wondered where you'd been and i totally understand now. I'm really sorry.

Idris said...

Hi Livia

Really sorry to read about your losses. Nothing I can say can take away the pain, I know, but the grief will fade.

owlthena said...

I am so very sorry for all your losses, there is nothing I can say that can ever change what has happened,or to make you feel better, just to let you know that death affects us all none of us can escape it's grip , so I send my love and sympathy to you and yours.
blessed be

Livia Indica said...

Thanks all for your kind words.

Moonroot said...

Oh Livia, I am so sorry for all your losses. Life can be so hard sometimes, when it seems to throw so much hardship and pain at us
all in one go. *hugs*
But I am glad you're back blogging. Only yesterday I was thinking of you and wondering if you'd post again. It's good to have you back.

Livia Indica said...

Thanks for thinking of me Moonroot; it's good to be back!