Know Thyself Deadbeat

From heaven descends the maxim Know Thyself - To be taken to heart and remembered, whether you're choosing a wife, or aiming to win a seat in that august body the Senate. Thersites never laid claim to Achilles' armour: Ulysses did - and look at the show he made of himself. If you decide to plead some touch-and-go case, where vital issues hang in the balance, take stock of yourself, get it clear just what you are - a talented, forceful speaker or a third-rate windbag.

- Juvenal, Roman satirist


The famous phrase Know Thyself was inscribed on the temple of Apollo at Delphi in Greece. History tells us that Apollo himself imparted this maxim to one of the Seven Sages. Whatever the original source I think some folks need to revisit it and take some notes. I don't bring it up for any philosophical purpose. I'm not quoting Juvenal seeking drollery. I'm using it to illustrate that I have plenty of company when I become incredibly irritated when I come across certain individuals who, for some strange reason, behave as if they are a god’s gift to the rest of us smelly mortals despite the fact that they are worthless sacks of shit.

To begin with I must say I, along with the rest of the world, dislike being in the company of arrogant folks. It's just irritating and unpleasant no matter how you slice it. But, and this is a big but, some people can perhaps be forgiven for their arrogance if they have indeed achieved great things. If you've walked on the moon then, yes, you can be forgiven for a little arrogance. If you've saved a human life, then yeah, I think you're entitled to a pretty high opinion of yourself. But my willingness to forgive a little arrogant behavior is not usually extended to plain old ordinary folks. And it most certainly is not extended to flat out losers.

Now, for the sake of clarity let me define "losers". I'm not referring to folks who don't have a paying job yet still do lots of work in that they keep a clean house, lovingly raise children and maintain creative and intellectual interests; they're not losers, far from it. No. Rather, when I say "losers" I am referring to those who accomplish nothing day in day out despite the fact that they have responsibilities and are perfectly capable of fulfilling said responsibilities. I'm referring to people so worthless that they cannot be bothered to get off their asses to do anything constructive, positive or progressive. These folks are the lowest forms of bullshit in my opinion and have NO right to be arrogant. And yet some of these people consider themselves not only worthy of respect but deserving of adulation. These people are not only losers but stupid, deluded losers full to the brim with unfounded arrogance.

Fortunately for me I have only come across a few of these types of people in my life. But those few times have nearly driven me from irritation straight to rage. I guess I should be thankful that they are so easily recognizable. You know the type; we all do. They consider themselves above physical labor of any kind because they are too busy with their passionate pursuits of playing video games and whatever the hell else lazy, self-indulgent people do all day. They have no job and shirk their household or familial duties, however few or many they may be. They live with relatives or friends, contribute little or nothing and yet expect that everything will be, and should be, given to them. Why? Well, because they're special of course.

They had a rough childhood so they're entitled. Or not everyone liked them in high school so they are the exception to every rule. Or their dreams didn't come to fruition so they're allowed to do whatever they want - which usually means very little. They've got a limitless supply of ridiculous excuses involving convoluted tales of persecution. They're often full of sob stories that not only rationalize their lazy, self-centered existence but express their self-image as a put upon individual so complex no one can comprehend what they've endured. They can't lift a finger to actually accomplish anything and yet, for all this, they act as if their shit doesn't stink. They carry themselves with a heavy, dense air of accomplishment and expect the rest of us to defer to them in all matters.

Well, guess what buddy? Your shit does stink. In fact, you stink with the stench of lies, selfishness and Grade A bullshit. I don't care what so-called problems keep you from getting a job or picking up after yourself. If you feel good enough about yourself to demand the admiration of everyone you meet then you're obviously not so depressed that you can't get off your ass and do something constructive. There are plenty of people who have suffered but still most of them manage to drag their ass off the couch and take care of business. Do something with yourself. Prove you are worthy of life. Then we'll see if you deserve any respect and admiration.

There. I feel a little better now.