The "War" on Christmas

We are well into November so it's that time again. Yes, the War on Christmas is warming up. Instead of assuming that everyone celebrating a holy day this time of year is a Christian many people prefer to be inclusive about it and say "Happy Holidays". And this is such an evil thing, it is such a blatant attack against Christmas that boycotts are being encouraged, books are being written, rants are being shouted and people are getting pissed. Myself included. This is such bullshit. I am tired, tired, TIRED of this "I'm a poor persecuted Christian, I can't dictate how my government works and I can't force others to believe as I do, woe is me" argument. You know what? The "I'm so persecuted" religious line is an old one and it's an obvious call for a pity party. It's an attempt to paint yourself as the underdog; it's a self-serving bullshit story.

You feel put upon because not everyone says "Merry Christmas"? What's the big deal? Not everyone worships your savior and that's gonna...what?....hurt your personal faith? Offend Jesus? I'm pretty sure Jesus is a big boy and can handle it. But if you're still worried about Him I've got a solution, why don't you celebrate the birth of Jesus a little closer to the actual date? It's in the spring, dumbass, and any regular viewer of The History Channel can tell you that. Furthermore, give the pagans back our holiday. Ya know why the birth of your Christ is celebrated on December 25? Because that's just right next to the ancient date of the Roman holiday of Saturnalia. Ya know what else? It's right next to the winter solstice, which falls on the 22nd this year and which has been celebrated by cultures the world round since time was time. Modern neopagans, like myself, would like these warmongering, self-righteous ignoramuses to know these facts. In fact, while I'm at it, give us back the rest of the holidays you stole from us. Easter was named for the goddess Eostre, a Celtic pagan deity who was offered a special egg by a hare who was granted immortality. Imbolc got turned into Groundhog Day. Beltaine became May Day. I could go on. Of course, I'm oversimplifying, but the point still stands. The Puritans were right, Christmas is too pagan. And there's a reason for that. It was stolen from the old pagans. Give it back and celebrate Jesus' birth near the actual date. Then you won't have people offending you with their "Happy Holidays" cheer. But then, you wouldn't be able to piss and moan about the War on Christmas. Oh dear, what else would you have to whine about? Perhaps the senseless deaths occurring every day in Iraq, ya know, the real war?

Now that would be a real holiday gift.